Thursday, September 29, 2011

You know you’re a JV in Ashland, when:

-You live in a ski chalet called Tall White Man Lodge
-Everyone in town knows who you are even though you don’t know them
-Your local restaurant, the Justus (pronounced “Justice”), only has 7 menus to share amongst customers
-You drive 45 mi. just to pick up pizza
-Your bath is really just a swim in the Tongue River
-You learn to tell the difference between a rattle snake and a bull snake, which just mimics a rattle snake
-Kids know you’re a JV because “you have that JV smile” (one of my favorite)
-You star gaze on the top of your roof
-School is closed not for snow days, but for “cold days” when the temperature drops below -25
-You shop at the local Amish store, where dented cans sell for 10 cents and expired chips sell for a dollar
-You go “worming” down by the river to find tenants for your worm bin
-You save your recycling in your garage for the next trip to Billings
-A two-hour drive is no longer a road trip, but just normal
-You stop swatting at flies or bugs around you because it won’t make a difference
-Grasshoppers fill the air like a swarm of bees when you walk through your “lawn”
-You think somebody you know waves at you as you drive 70 mph down the highway before you realize that’s just Montana courtesy
-You have buffalo for every meal at the cafeteria because the school owns their own buffalo ranch
-You’re invited to watch a naming ceremony, eat fry bread and stay up ‘til midnight watching drum circles and dancing at Crow Fair, the “teepee capital of the world”
-You eat honey-flavored processed “real white meat” chicken fingers and instant mashed potatoes every day for a week because its what the old JVs left in their house
-You make homemade yogurt and labna (greek cheese) from the expired milk that is given to you by the community
-Everyone invites you to their house to watch TV because they know you don’t have one
-Cleaning the toilet becomes a “social justice issue” because you let it mellow when its yellow
-You've eaten fried grasshoppers, just because

I'm sure there will be more to add as the year goes on...

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